Set It Off...

I really do try my best not to compare myself to others. Over the years, I've tried to develop a good sense of worth--knowing that my ultimate worth comes from God and all that jazz... But the truth of it is that beyond that "Sunday School" answer. There are days when I feel nothing like that. Especially on a hospital ship where you're not a doctor or nurse. It can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and not feel like what you bring to the table is of value. Or if you're married, comparing yourself to your "free to mingle" single friends. And if you're single, envying the thighs and legs in your married friends' buckets... I mean I can quote Psalm 139:14 about how I'm fearfully and wonderfully made and sure of God's marvelous work in me; but then when I was being hateful last week or struggling with trying to bring every thought into subjection I didn't feel so wonderful or marvelously worked. .

So it made my walk the other day all-the-more special. I love how God works with me even in all my non-marvelosity (yes...I just made up a word). I was walking around the other morning and saw a daisy-like flower in the midst of the rose bush. And I thought to myself, "what would it be like to be that daisy amidst the roses?" It could go one of two ways: 1) I could decide that I am nothing compared to these fancy flowers that everyone covets or 2) I could decide that I am so FABULOUS that it only takes one of you to set it off.

Yeah...I'm I'm leaning towards the second option, and I'm hoping that today is one of those FABULOUS days for you too. #ThatIsAll!

Right F.O.C.U.S.

I've always struggled with the idea of writing for the sake of writing. I don't do it. If there's nothing pressing on my mind, you better believe that I probably won't keep to the "schedule" of email delivery that I thought would work best. But that's only part of it. Because the truth is there are times when God really is working something in my heart, mind and spirit and I'm being a bit of the proverbial ostrich with my head in the sand and not facing it. Because yeah...we all know the truth is that...once it's "out there" (When Harry Met Sally reference for those who do that kind of thing) then it's just plain "out there" and we all know that EVERYthing on the Internet is true...(riiiight...).

So, real talk...I've been in a particularly vulnerable place the last couple of years and I haven't necessarily felt like living that fully in front of everyone. I think that finally the Lord has convicted me enough to know that I can't continue to do this and I must FOCUS. So here I am...reviving the blog. And what's the first thing that God puts on my mind? A tape I've been playing in my mind for about 15 years now--I'm a "Jack (or Jill in this case) of all trades and a master of none".

You see, I had a friend tell me this as I was about to make a big move in my life. It was an interesting time and my friends had sat me down to basically "tell me about myself" and in the midst she said this thing: "Andrea, you're a Jack of all trades and a master of none" and then proceeded to tell me how I needed to decide what I wanted to master and focus. From that point forward, I became a bit self-conscious. Every time that I felt the Lord tugging in a different direction, I'd have her words in the back of my mind--focus. Every time I felt free to express myself in this creative way or the other--focus. Every time my life hasn't aligned with what "normal" people would do--focus. Every time my faith has challenged me--focus. Focus, focus, focus...until I finally got the revelation that GOD was the one who gifted me in many ways. And, though those gifts don't always make sense to someone from the outside looking in, but they do make sense to Him. He is the giver of every good gift. The fact that I can sing or write or take a picture or preach or teach or...well whatever...Should I just become a singer because that would lend to someone's definition of focus? Should I only write because that would mean I'm "focused".

I've decided to take her advice finally and FOCUS for real...I'm focusing on God and focusing on faith and focusing on using EVERYthing He gave me to meet the end goal--glorifying Him. And I continue to struggle with that tape playing. But at least at this point the tape is so warped that these days it doesn't have the same power it used to...And I'm praying that for you. I'm praying that your tapes begin to warp and eventually just plain stop working. I'm praying that as you walk in faith you maintain the right focus--Faith Obscuring Communication Unearthed by Satan.

Blessings,
MinD

H-U-M-I-L-I-T-Y

The last couple of weeks have been a journey in self-definition and humility. Often, it feels like humility is a curse...even saying the word has a bit of sting that can be spelled out like a 4-letter word. There's no other way to say it than to admit that I have pride issues. Oh...YOU TOO?! Good...For a minute there, I thought I was alone. I figured that there were so many times when I would think that I've got it. I'd have a conversation with the Lord and "let him know" (as if He's taking advice from me), that we didn't have to go through these humbling lessons anymore. "I've got it already!" Ha! I suppose that if you have to say anything about it, then you probably don't really have it. So as I've learned, like Paul, to be "abased and abound" (Philippians 4:12) God continues to mold me like clay and purify me like gold. And, while it's not comfortable, I've truly come to a place where I can appreciate parts of this journey. In the role I have right now of housekeeping on a medical mission, I have come to a place where all I hear each day in my head that Jesus came to serve and not be served.

just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)

Wow...what a privilege it has become for me to walk out this road of service. I'm not perfect as Christ was. I don't always want to be the one doing the serving, but I have come to such a genuine place of peace in the midst of it all...

I pray today that you too are able to take the sting out of service. As you walk this Christian journey, it is my prayer that you constantly remember that humility is a journey and begin to appreciate the ride.

Blessings,
MinD

Out Of The Boat & Then Back On...Go figure!

This weekend, my life shifted ever the more. Months ago I made a decision to take some time and apply to serve on Mercy Ships. After some time in the application process, I was approved and began the process of raising money and getting my life ready for this drastic shift. Though I'm still raising money, I have gone forward with full force. And so in this journey to be "water walking" out here on the water with Jesus

, I've found myself conveniently back on the boat...literally! 

It's all been very exciting. I arrived here in Pointe Noire, Congo a couple of days ago. I was worn out after 24+ hours of travel, but my heart was overflowing! We arrived under the cloak of darkness so it felt like Christmas morning the next day to get up and hurry to a window so I could see out. I've spent these few days getting acquainted and settling in and being somewhat overwhelmed by the potential of what can be done here.

When I made the decision to make this trip, it was at the prodding of the Holy Spirit yet again to make a move. I find myself in familiar yet unfamiliar territory. I'm sure you're wondering how that's possible. I'd say that I've almost become familiar with the idea that I'm out here on this faith walk and don't know much about what the end result will be. But the unfamiliarity comes in redefining myself. Over the last couple of months, I've had the pleasure to wander around and spend quality time with family and friends before making this trip. Inevitably the question that has continually come my way is "Where are you from?" and "What are you doing?" 

How is it possible that such simple questions could render me completely at a loss. People ask these questions because they help them to categorize you or find points of commonality. However, what happens when you can't articulate simple answers to such simple questions? I've come to that place in my life where I no longer identify with "where I'm from". I've come to say that 'I'm from here and there' or a child of the world. I sound like a hippie but it's how I feel. Perhaps if we were still in the 60's that's exactly what I'd be--a flower child. But in this day and age, it's unacceptable to not be able to say what you do and clearly help people know who you are. 

And so here I sit, on a boat on the dock in the Congo with the feeling that my life is changing with every little type of the keyboard. The shifts keep coming and I'm hanging in there. Perhaps I'll have a better answer soon to those self-defining questions...then again maybe I won't. But there's one thing I can say about this business of being out of this boat above all else: I'm surrounded with that immeasurable peace that surpasses understanding and I wouldn't trade that for the world. 

That's all for now!

Blessings,
MinD/PastorA

P.S. If you are interested in learning more about Mercy Ships or supporting my service (every dollar helps), you can visit my page at http://mercyships-us.donorpages.com/crewmates/AndreaDiallo.

Leaving The Rest Area

It's been a while...

Despite my silence, my adventure hasn't ended. After much prayer and pulling from the Lord, I made a decision to take another step closer to Him off this boat on the water. It has meant leaving friends (who have become family) behind and really stretching my faith in ways that I didn't realize needed to be stretched. And, the truth is...it's lonely out here...

Maybe one day I'll spend some time really exploring THAT, but I just needed to check in and share some good news. As a whole, God has been dealing with me about being even more vulnerable and fully exposed for Him--not allowing fear to have any foothold in my faith walk. With this tugging on my spirit, I had to face the facts: I'd been hiding. The only way I can explain it is that it's like I stepped out on faith, left my home (like Abraham), and then pulled the car over in a rest area. But I've decided that I refuse to get stuck here. My key is in the ignition and I'm pulling out back on the road of my faith. As a step in this direction, I spent some time doing some things that truly make me feel "exposed".

First, I loaded a few sermon clips on YouTube (YIKES!) and then, today, I did something exciting and finally finished converting my book (yes...I wrote a book for those who don't know) to digital availability on Kindle. Yep...I'm feeling extra exposed and started thinking of all the negatives that could come out of this. So I had to get online and take a stand against those thoughts. I'm stopping the chatter in my head and replacing it with the positive. Say it with me:

I'M MOVING IN FAITH!

I'M NOT AFRAID OF FAILURE!

I'M NOT AFRAID OF SUCCESS!

I'M FULLY SURRENDERED TO GOD'S WILL!

IT'S OKAY TO BE SCARED AS LONG AS I KEEP WALKING...

GOD'S GOT MY BACK.

I AM TRIUMPHANT FOR AND THROUGH HIM!

Any questions?

Blessings from the water,
A

New Perspective...

I was thinking of the decision to leave my job the last few days. Well...it's something I think of often and piece my decision apart to ensure that I heard God and made the right move. Though it's difficult for me to understand in the midst of my circumstances, I usually end my thoughts reassured. So when I encounter someone along my path who I tell if this journey, I'm not completely clueless as to why they have a difficult time understanding my choice. And then recently, I got a new perspective on the decision.

If our nation were at war, and I had made a decision to drop everything and fight in that war. Even if there were little to no pay involved, people would not struggle to understand. If that very war was a threat to my life--putting me in harm's way and risking death--people would consider me valiant. Even if my family despised the decision, the support of my nation and comrades would carry me through and reinforce the decision on a daily basis.

And so it is in ministry. I believe that there is a war between what's righteous and evil going on in this world. The Bible tells us we war against "powers and principalities". I believe that people's lives are at stake if we don't do the work to fight for them; and I took drastic measures to join the fight full time. I expect that some friends and family may begrudge the choice I've made, but I'm girded up on every side by comrades in the Kingdom who know the struggle and understand the necessity. I have people I can call when I'm thrown of by a tactical move made by the enemy or when I'm awed by the protection of my God.

I say all of this to say that if you don't have those type of comrades, you are fighting in the wrong unit. If you are floundering out there trying to justify your decision, I encourage you to start simply telling people you are a captain or general in battle for a secret operatives team. That will quiet them. In the end, you must follow after what GOD said and not what man fears.

Be encouraged and stay focused!
MinD

Faithful to Finish

For I am confident of this very thing, 

that He who began a good work in you 

will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. 

(Philippians 1:6 NASB)

There are times in our lives when we become discouraged. There are days when we look up and around and begin to lose sight of whatever God has said for our lives. There are seasons when the promise of God seems so illusive--where the reality of our circumstance and situation makes seeing the possibilities of God's will difficult. We are weighed down by life and responsibility. We are distracted by the twists and turns of day-to-day living and begin to forget that God is a God who can make it all straight.

I am in such a season. If you're anything like me, you begin to think you must have dreamed it all. I have pouted and thrown tantrums with God. I had even made a decision the other day that perhaps I should simply start trying to convince myself not to believe. In the interest of being content or satisfied, perhaps I should simply decide that I'm not meant to be or do any more than what I'm currently being and doing. I began to think that if I lower my expectations of what God said was to happen, the process would somehow hurt or fatigue me less when/if things didn't move as I would hope. I'm a person who shouts "YOU MUST HAVE FAITH!" from the highest mountain tops, but was facing a crisis of my own--thinking that it was enough to have faith in how powerful I believe God to BE without fully investing my heart in the faith for what He said He would DO!

I went back and forth in my mind the last few days about weather to embrace this shift in mindset. BUT GOD (gotta love when He puts his "but" in things), the lover of my soul, wrapped His arms around me in the form of an emailed video from a friend today. My friend had done me the favor of digitizing the video from my initial sermon. (I have only watched this sermon once and that was some time after at the taunting of friends.) But TODAY, I needed to be reminded and God was faithful to send me that reminder. I remembered that being content and satisfied were not one in the same. As I listened God reminded me that wanting what He has for me has nothing to do with not being content. If He doesn't do another thing for me, I will be content. But I refuse to live satisfied with less than what was His original intent when He fashioned me in my mother's womb. The Bible tells me to press towards the mark (Phil 3:14) and not just float our way there. There is action and intention in walking out the promises of God and we cannot lose sight of the destination while we are panting through the course!

Just has He did for me, it is His intention for you to understand that He IS a Promise Keeper! You were starting to feel like you must have dreamed what God said or like He has forgotten, but He sent me today to remind you in love that He's not a man that He should lie! He sees you and knows your path! HIS WORD IS BOND!!! He's a FINISHER and will begin what He started in you. Beyond your tears and the realities of your circumstance lies your PROMISE. Today, be encouraged to keep your eye on the prize and keep pressing. He's well worth it!

Blessings,
MinD

P.S. I've posted this in my prayer point devotional as well and have uploaded a clip from my initial sermon on YouTube (http://youtu.be/2E6hVj0Hotc). If you have 7 minutes, please take a look and stand in agreement with me for the promises that God is bringing to pass and be encouraged to share that encouragement with those you think may need a bit of a boost today.