Not Waiting For Heaven

I was talking to a friend today and something that she said really took me down my own spiritual rabbit trail. We were talking about favorite scriptures and she happened to mention that the first few verses of Psalm 27 were among her favorites. And while I agreed with her, I was silently reminded of one of my favorite parts of that psalm and it comes later down the line...verse 13 (lucky 13 I suppose). It says: 

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." 

And as I recited it out loud to her, I felt a bit of a nudge from the Lord reminding me of why I love this verse so much. It's no secret that times are hard for so many--both people I know and strangers across the land. Major hurricanes are threatening friends and family. Mud slides have killed hundreds. Friends have been disappointed, loved ones thinking of divorce, sickness plaguing bodies, friends of friends in hospice, poverty running rampant, political unrest and injustices, personal losses and so much more. It's been a tough season. 

But something keeps me going. It's a small word with a lot of power--HOPE. And it's not just the hope for the beauty of eternity in heaven, but hope for what I know we will see on this earth. I decided a long time ago that I was going to follow God with faith--not seeing or understanding what was coming but pressing through to the next step beyond the pain and beyond the darkness. And, at every turn I've been surprised and rewarded that on the other side of that tight space I've seen unexpected blessings. I don't do things for the blessing, but I do do them knowing that somewhere in this "land of the living" and not just when I'm surrounded by the heavenly host, I will experience joy, I will see goodness, I will see light...I will see God.

When I open my eyes and stop looking through the cloudy lens of my situation, I can see clearly to the fact that a spark of hope is still kindled in my spirit even on days when it isn't raging out of control like a forest fire. And what's so comforting in that is a little bit of hope goes a long way. 

It's been a while since I've written a prayer point, but this evening my fingers were itching to send this to you...yes YOU. I wanted to remind you that no matter what you are going through and what you see around you, know that there's still hope. Grab on to what little bit you can  find and ride through to the storm because a rainbow is sure to come.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

With All Due Respect: Race Doesn't Matter...until it does...It's Not About Religion...until it is

It's been a while since I've written a blog. In fact, I logged in to write this and found a draft with a similar subject header already in process and thought it appropriate to keep. I say that to say that these matters I'm about to discuss run deep and are not about one administration but about some deep-reaching heart matters that keep resurfacing. Since it's bubbling in my heart for some time, it's also a long blog so yeah...just a heads up...

You see, Martin Luther King, Jr has been on my mind quite a bit the last few weeks--and not just because it was his birthday in January. No. That isn't it. You see, I've seen a lot of posts on social media and heard several people saying that, in essence, they wish that people would stop talking about the challenges of our new administration. On my own posts (which have expressed sadness, fury and confusion), I've gotten a mixture of responses--some wishing I would stop stirring the pot of conversation, others saying that I'm "spewing rhetoric", some challenging my sources or ability to think for myself beyond mainstream media, some saying we just need to pray and some in agreement with my sentiments/words. It's been interesting to see/read to say the least and I've watched the comments, trying not to be offended, and relishing in the engagement of people to say and discuss that which they are passionate about. I guess I could delete people's comments from my page who I don't agree with, but what good is that? Where is there freedom if not in the exchange of thought--including the room to disagree? And so, I don't usually engage in debate. I state my opinion. Beyond that, my thought is a reader can do with that what they want (as long as they're not completely rude). It's not my job to convince anyone of my point of view but it is my job to speak...but wait...I'm getting ahead of myself.

Back to Martin Luther King, Jr. The thought I had rolling around in my head the last few weeks was more of a set of questions: What if he (and the others who served with him) remained silent? What if he decided not to "stir the pot"? What if, as a pastor, he chose to only pray? What if he only took a "wait and see" stance and hoped for the best? Where would we be? And I wonder the age-old question WWJD...What would Jesus do?

People have argued that it's not about religion or that it's not about race, but I would argue to the contrary based on what I've seen and heard over the last couple of years and, in particular, the last few weeks. IT (whatever it is that has come up) usually is about that very thing that people are so scared to label it as. I've watched and listened as people have even challenged my Christian responsibility as a pastor and leader, suggesting that I NOT say things that incite debate or division. What I know to be true is that my words are not meant to incite division though they may highlight and expose a division that is already there. I sometimes want to scream "Where have YOU been living???!" at comments from people who say this wasn't like this before. No. It just wasn't public. It's as if people assume that when the Civil Rights Act passed or Ms. Magazine was published suddenly all was right with the world. It is America's well/not-so-well-camouflaged dirty little secret that the Land of the Free has an addendum to that statement that says "land of the free FOR SOME". Don't get me wrong. I love being an American, but we are definitely still a work in progress. Having a conversation in which there is not agreement but there is a respectful exchange of thought and emotion is not contrary to my Christian belief. Even Jesus in his meekness and humility was not a complete pacifist. He didn't avoid conversation with those who challenged him. He merely spoke truth and kept it moving. He challenged people to challenge their own thoughts and beliefs. He didn't argue with people. He didn't debate. But He did not remain silent. Paul, the writer of much of the New Testament, called people out left and right about how their actions did or did not match up with true Christian thought. He guided people in action and in word. He did not remain silent.

My name is Andrea and I am a non-American born, black, female, Christian, American pastor who has a voice. Like every person in this world with a voice (and any number of social media accounts), I have influence. I know my influence. I have authority in Christ and I have small amounts of influence with my words and photographs. So it becomes my choice how I want to use that voice and that influence. Making statements that clearly say "I'm angry" or "I don't agree" don't say "You should be angry" or "You should agree with me" but they do start a conversation. I'm human. I would love for everyone to agree with me or at least hear me and not make me want to cringe with their responses; but what I want more than agreement is for learning and challenging and understanding to go forward. That leaves room for me to be wrong as well as others or for us to decide that "it's not wrong, it's just different".

However I can't lie (or provide an "alternate fact" should I say?), I was having a hard time understanding how people voted for D. Trump and how he became our 45th President. Overall, grace covers them and me in this journey. I'm not one of those people who would begrudge him his win or say that it should be revoked. I didn't call for a recount. I believe in the democratic process and am not tied to my team "winning". Though my opinion of him is not high (to say the least) and I've publicly said as much, he is my president. I do pray for him in positive ways and strive to serve him that way--through prayer. But I also call him to the service he was elected to serve me and not just the interests of a particular group. And so I have to pray even for myself and others like me that we will be proven wrong in our opinions, and he'll serve the greater American good. However, that doesn't mean I don't still struggle to understand. I can't help but remark about things that don't make sense to me (like "alternate facts" and someone with an approved green card being turned away from the country in the airport). Me writing and sharing this shows my struggle and hope to be understood.

I don't understand how we tell our kids not to bully and then give a bully the highest office in US government; or how anyone says that acts that HE SAID were continuations of his campaign promises to shut out Muslims are not religious because he wisely/tactfully/craftily/sneakily made a plan that didn't say that outright because that wouldn't be legal (like someone who figures out how to simply get what they want without breaking the law...is that ethical and right even if it's legal???); or how we can be humanitarians who would go to the ends of the earth to help people but are ultimately more concerned about our bank accounts (yes...us having to spend more money) than our neighbor up the street's ability to get and maintain healthcare and live above the poverty lines; or how someone can say that a person who generalized a whole group of non-white people from a specific place as rapists and murderers is not in any way racist and that I (a non-white person) can trust him fully to govern me and a country of all races with a just hand; or how we look at misogynist statements he made only a few years ago as "old news" and think that his groping hands have been reformed and that he thinks highly of women despite his past words and behavior? I just don't understand. I know that people said they voted for him despite these atrocities and as retaliation to injustices they have felt under the previous administration. But, I've struggled to reconcile that my friends who I respect, like, and love (still do) of all races and religious backgrounds and careers chose that over anything else.

I struggle because I take what he has said and who he has been in the past personally. VERY PERSONALLY. And so my bigger struggle is reconciling how you can like and support him and still like and support me? Is it even possible? Is it possible to say to someone "I love you" but then put someone in office who has the potential to completely ruin me personally? I come from a family of immigrants for whom the immigration process is still a relevant part of our lives--not like we just immigrated back in 1900 and then it's over but like today who have stakes in this immigration game. I'd like to know that my father is not in danger of being stopped at the borders because of his faith or the fact that he is a naturalized citizen and not born in the US (and don't say it's not possible because if they can revoke visas that were vetted and block entry for green-card carriers or people seeking REFUGE for health and/or political reasons then nothing is off limits). I know people who were on the verge of financial ruin because of major illness events like cancer who aren't working (so savings plans wouldn't work for them) and who need coverage for "preexisting conditions"; and I myself have preexisting conditions that worry me when thinking of the availability of healthcare to me. I have brothers and cousins and friends who would and have been unfairly targeted by "stop and frisk" laws that have been promised to return on a more widespread level. I have god-daughters who need to know that it's not okay to be treated unfairly as girls or inappropriately touched but we have a president who admits to doing so to women. Like I said, I take it personal.

And I wonder if MLK was the same. Did he take it personal? At what moment did he stop being pissed off in private and shift towards joining a public movement? What is that moment, that issue, that cause that drives someone from just being a part of the crowd to leading the crowd despite others telling them to be silent? Where is the line that is crossed that moves someone from church-going to church-BEing (doers and not just hearers of The Word)? And does speaking out take me out of line with the church? What makes someone like a Martin Luther King or Gandhi or Mother Theresa and the like use their voices with such grace and power and take that risk of being heard? What is the point that pushes them to action and out of a pray only and wait position? Those are the questions I ask myself as I struggle with all that has been going on and all that has been said. I am not a believer who thinks that every person we put in office must be Christian. If given a choice, I would vote for a non-Christian who has a humanitarian heart and whose actions reflect love and wisdom and global understanding over a mean Christian. I don't always vote party lines (much to some people's chagrin), and I certainly don't vote because someone is black or a woman like me. Perhaps that's just me. I'm smarter than that and I'm insulted when people assume otherwise.

I try not to be judgmental, but I know that I fail miserably as I think thoughts like how can we elevate a man whose actions and words say "I don't care about all people" and then tell people that they should "love God show that they love him through their love of others"? I don't understand and I have to repent often when my thoughts go in that judgmental direction. It's not mine to judge Trump's faith or relationship with God. But that's easier said than done and I can say that his political actions do not reflect my hopes and dreams for humanity regardless of religion. Period.

So what would Jesus have done? What would Jesus' Twitter feed and Facebook timeline look like? Would it be filled with pictures of kittens or of headlines? I'm not sure. I'm tryin to be like Jesus but definitely not there yet. What I know for sure is that I simply cannot be silent. I think about Esther and I believe that we are given a voice "for such a time as this". Hopefully we approach it with humility and grace. Hopefully we give room for all voices to be heard and not just our own. Hopefully we welcome counter-action and encourage reactions that don't match ours. Hopefully we are prayerful about the words that we use and the actions that we take. I know that's my goal. Before I hit "POST" on anything that may be politically charged you read, I've thought (and usually prayed) it out. And though my words may match the rhetoric of the press, I choose my own words...we just happen to agree (ex. I purposely chose the word "refugee" even though the executive order was for immigrants because I think of most immigrants as seeking refuge and know that that is the base definition of the word "refugee").

And then I go back to where I started...MLK. I was reminded in my times of prayer and reflection that, as an African American community, the church has been a central place of community action. I was reminded that we didn't have the luxury of position outside of the church so this "church leaders must be silent and just pray" ideology is simply not in line with my personal cultural understanding of life. To use the words that even Ivanka Trump quoted of Malcolm X "If not now, then when? If not me, then who?" Community action/humanitarian advocacy and religious understanding have been inextricably linked throughout the centuries. While I am not saying that D. Trump is Hitler or that his actions are as bad, I do know that silence from the church and much of the world outside of the church is how Hitler rose to power so craftily and how one man could change the direction of history for a whole people group one "small", "insignificant" order at a time. And, in retrospect to Hitler's regime, the great Holocaust survivor, Nobel Peace Prize winner Ellie Wiesel said "The opposite of love is not hate but indifference." And there are so many more...so many more great words by great people who have lived through points in history that we would all agree are charged with division and hatred. I just don't want to be indifferent. I don't want us to ignore history and fall into the same trap where we sit back and relax in our comfortable worlds.

And so it goes...my first response has been and will continue to be prayer because that's what God says it should be. (2 Chronicles 7:14) But even in this verse that we call upon we must remember to not ignore the part that says "turn"...there is ACTION that God calls us to. How we turn and what that looks like? I am not sure. So I'll continue to seek God's face and ask Him to give me wisdom before I speak, before I march, before I write and before I hit "POST" or "SUBMIT". I'm no MLK, but I do have a voice. I will call out bad behavior and try to make sure that my behavior isn't equally bad. I will challenge mean words and try to make sure that my words are not also mean. In all, I will try to honor God and use my voice with wisdom and boldness.

Thanks for reading.

Pastor Andrea

Above Reproach

Those dreaded words came my way: "We need to talk." They are four of the most daunting words put together in the English language. And it's funny to me (and sad to an extent) that they have caused me so many moments of unrest. I realized as I was sitting here that the reason that I hadn't been able to rest is that I have failed... The scripture in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 says that an overseer is to be "above reproach", and as I made a mental list of all the things I had done right or wrong in the past couple of weeks, I realized that it was not me.

Now I'm not talking about big things, but I'm talking about those areas of life where you know you are just shy of right--where your attitude could've been a little smoother or you could've done better to ensure that you presented no appearance of evil. How many of those things do we have in our lives? How many times are those the things that potentially hold us back? As I anticipate whatever it is that the person may have to tell me, I have been driven to a point of reflection and repentance and felt led to write about it.

I'm not sure who will read this or where you are, but I want to be clear that you have an opportunity to move forward in a way that is "above reproach" from this point forward. You can make a decision to reflect God in ways that only showcase just how wonderful He is. Don't sit here and condemn yourself for what has been done. Move forward today in integrity and self-control know that the grace of God has helped to heal whatever has been done in the past.

Be blessed,
MinD

The Struggle Is Real

I could hear the nurses puttering around in the adjacent room as I waited for my appointment. My thumbs seemed to have a mind of their own --finding a rhythm of nervousness and twiddling away--until I couldn't take it any longer and asked her to tell me what the scale had read. I knew I didn't want to know, but I was like a month to a flame...I'm surprised I held out the five minutes I lasted. But as soon as the words were out of her mouth, I knew felt my heart plummet to the floor.

There had to be a mistake. She tried to console me saying it was likely a misread so we should take it again. And again I got hit with the cold, hard reality of failure. I knew I had gained weight (it was either that or I suddenly shrunk all of my clothes), but I didn't know it was THAT bad. How could I be HERE? How could I have crossed the imaginary line that I had made up in my head--the line between the weight that you are and the special weight that you've identified as "You Know You've Gone Too Far When"...the point in my brain that separated me from just being fat to morbidly obese. (To be clear, that number doesn't match the body mass index that doctors use because ...well...I obviously like to live disillusioned. Hey...we all have our flaws.) It's like I have a thinner woman trapped inside of me who is simply aching to get out. It's hard to preach to people about their issues when mine are staring them right in the face on my hips and thighs.

So today I crossed the line and it really didn't feel good. I cried in the doctor's office in frustration for what has proven to be a lifelong battle. And then somewhere in the middle of my supreme pout, I remembered God. I can admit that those first thoughts were more asking why I got the fat genes in the family and why others eat and eat and don't exercise and have metabolisms from heaven. Meanwhile I am dealing with everything from motivation issue to thyroid glitches and can't seem to catch a break. Woo woo woo...whoa is me and all that jazz. I'm a pastor but I'm also human. I'm a multidimensional missionary and truly still a work in progress.

Once I got past all of my vanity and self-righteousness, I began to remember that 'I war not against flesh and blood' and that there has to be a better way. Yes there are physical things I need to do, but it would stand to reason that if I can trust God with my soul, then my body should be a piece of cake to him. He's probably just waiting for me to turn it over once and for all to Him. He said we could bring it all to him.

Easier said than done, but I'm surely gonna try.

Blessings, MinD

What Would Thin Be Like? And Other Silly Thoughts In Serious Times

I'm thinking of writing another book. This one could be entitled What Would Thin Be Like? And Other Silly Thoughts In Serious Times. Yes, you read right. While other people's blogs (especially my fellow friends here on Mercy Ships) detail the ups and downs of missionary work, the plight of the poor, and the trials of the world, the simple side of my mind turns to randomness. Something must be done.

I really want to be one of those ultra-serious people. I don't want to have to convince people that I hold two master's degrees and have a couple of pennies of sense rattling around in my brain. I want people to just know it. I want to exude intelligence and maturity, but instead I often feel like my silliness makes me seem much younger than my forty years (and not in a good way). I'm sure Mother Teresa didn't get shocked looks once people found out she got the Nobel Prize. It simply made sense that she should get it.

But when I think about the person I would like to be--loving people like Mother Teresa, sacrificing like Esther, evangelizing people like Billy Graham, forgiving people like Nelson Mandela, inspiring people like Ghandi, charming people like Oprah, praying like Paul, and basically fully embodying Jesus--I can only think of silliness. I wonder if I'm thin enough, smart enough, educated enough...am I enough? All of my insecurities shine through and I wonder silly things like "what would it be like to be thin or if my head was on the body of someone like Gabrielle Union?"

No matter how many letters there are behind my name, what I haven't accomplished shines through. No matter how many times I've stepped out on faith, I consider the opportunities I may have missed when I was scared. No matter how many people I've showed love to, I worry about those who I fell short with. Even in the midst of serving God in this wonderful way on the mission field, I feel like I should always be doing or being more. Serious people do more, right? ...Or so I ask myself. I mean, why haven't I personally found the cure to the Ebola crisis in West Africa by now? Ludicrous, right? It's funny how no matter where you go, your stuff goes with you. Every insecurity and every ... I find myself wondering how it is that no matter how much you work on it, those things seem to surface at the most inopportune times.

But, at the end of the day, I was reminded that I am, indeed enough. A fellow minister was interviewing me and asked me about the book(s) that I felt every minister should read (beyond the Bible). I sat there stumped as I looked at him, and all those insecurities began to surface again as I drew a blank. I thought of how no one would ever believe that I graduated from seminary if I don't come up with acceptable answers to the question and begin quoting A.W. Tozier, D. Willard or the like. And then an overwhelming peace came over me as I realized that I was not them and that God didn't make a mistake. I really felt the reality of what Psalm 139 says when it talks about being 'fearfully and wonderfully made and having your soul know it well.' While serious things can be important, God has gifted me with a joy that simply flows over and may seem silly to most. So my soul kicked in and reminded me that I don't have to prove my intelligence or commitment to all things serious. My soul kicked in and reminded me that the greatest job that I have is to love and do so in my own skin with my own silliness and my own style.

Now this knowing won't stop the occasional return of the my-head-on-actress-body thoughts or wondering how I can do more to heal the world. It's those random thoughts that fuel the passion of great people to do great things. Perhaps I'll finally get healthier and have my body be a living reflection of God's deliverance from our vices (like chocolate) or maybe I'll even stumble across a cure for HIV/AIDS in my spare time. Who knows? But for now, all this silliness in these serious times is enough for God and so it's enough for me.

Pieces Coming Together

There is a guy from Sierra Leone on the ship who part of his job is to regulate the chemicals in the water and make sure that we have safe drinking water aboard the ship. And there's the Dutch young man serving as a barista in the Starbucks who always has a smile for everyone who goes by. We all sleep more comfortably knowing that our Romanian friend is busy ensuring that the HVAC units are running well. And then there's a lady from Liberia whose primary function is to bake the bread...well acutally ANY baked goods served on the ship and a young lady from Australia who serves as our preschool teacher. Or how about the Canadian girl who spends time making sure that each of the nurses feels safe in their job and gets appropriate professional feedback? You almost never see the Ghanaian woman who works with the department that provides all training to staff from Microsoft to management and more. If you look really closely, you'll probably catch an English woman or a Malagasy young man mopping and shuffling through the halls--ensuring the cleanliness of the ship. Finally, you cannot forget the young guy from Panama who helps steer the ship and keep us safe.

In all, there are over 40 nations represented on the Africa Mercy. Over 400 people at once and 1200 in the course of a field service that make our little world go round. I guess I just was thinking of the fact that I rarely talk about them. We, as an organization, have a mission to reach the poorest of the poor with a specific method--through surgeries. So much of the focus is on the men, women and children whose lives are forever changed because of the expertise of our surgeons, nurses, and other medical crew. But most of the world probably doesn't begin to realize what it takes to bring that hope and healing to pass. Without clean water and smiles at break-time, without controlled air or adept computer training, surgeries do not happen.

This week, we began surgeries for this new field service. It was a monumental day filled with a lot of energy on the ship. We are so proud of all of the ways we are able to serve God. We are so excited to get to use every gift that we have for His glory. We are so blessed by all of the ways that God's light can be shown to the world. So today I just had to take a moment to praise God for all of the pieces of our little puzzle coming together. Yep...I'm happy to be here.

Blessings,
MinD

My Hugutation

Several years ago, I went on a mission/vision trip to Lucknow, India with the express point of ministering to the Dalit people. If you know anything about the Indian caste system, then you know that the Dalit people are the lowest on the ladder. In fact, they are what some call "The Untouchables". These are people who have historically been cast aside and relegated to the dirtiest of jobs--handling trash, waste and blood products. They are bound by this cultural, sociological system that says they are nothing to God and therefore nothing to man.When I heard about them, all I wanted to do was fly across the world and hug.

Three Dalit girls I came across in Lucknow.

Now I realize that everyone doesn't want a hug, but it was in that moment that I began to see how much we (society, humanity) had allowed the enemy to steal something so precious and such a simple way of showing people the love of God through physical touch. Without being lascivious, there are hugs and human touch that simply about communicating the message "I care".

Then the other day, I sat in the room across from a momma and held her little girl's hand. As soon as I touched the little girl's hand, tears began to flow from her mother's eyes and sprung into the recesses of her own. She was about 8 years old and looked like any one of my god children... They had gone from doctor to doctor and heard the same answer--no. And we were no different. We couldn't give the girl the medical treatment that she was looking for, but I knew in that moment that I could give her something different--a touch.

You see, I've developed a bit of a reputation for being "that person". I'm the one who when you've had a bad day or you're missing home while here on the mission field or you simply realized that it's been days since anyone has touched you besides a hand shake who will reach out in bonafide, Christian love. There's no cost for what I give. No judgement. There's no malintent. I have no hidden sexual desire that I'm fulfilling. And I want nothing in return. The reason why I hug is because it's a simple way to bridge the gap and say "you matter". It's a simple way to put action to my words "Jesus loves you and so do I." It's a simple way to cross socioeconomic, geographic, gender, cultural lines and speak the same language of caring.

My kind of fun. This lady in Canada along
with her friends took a day in winter (when
people are depressed and lonely) to spread love
one hug at a time. Genius!

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm talking about my hugutation (hug+reputation). This week, someone confronted me about my hugs and tried to convince me to squash them. I can admit that I was saddened (and irritated) that a fellow Christian missionary would be so limited in how they thought about (appropriate) human touch. But I know that person isn't alone. Having been on the mission field now for almost a decade, I even understand the cross cultural dynamics of where this person was coming from. But, the truth is that we live in a world where the enemy has us so thoroughly convinced that all touch must be interpreted through the societal "naughty filter". But I choose to use a different filter to govern my actions--JESUS. I know that an appropriate hug on the right day can make all the difference in anyone's day. I may even have a T-Shirt printed that says "free hugs here" or a sign around my neck. But in the absence of those marketing tools, I'll just tell you: if you pass me in the street, and you're having a lousy day...reach out and maybe, just maybe, I'll be there to catch you. But if it's not me, then I hope that you'll pass a hug, a touch of simple care along to someone else you encounter who just needs their day to be boosted.

Be encouraged and don't be scared! God's love is bigger than the devils innuendo.

Blessings,
MinD

Lifting My Gag (Again)

I feel like I've failed.

No...not in the most conventional ways. I have had a lot of "success" in the 40 years that I've been on this earth. I've had a lot of moments to cherish. I've had a lot of opportunities for growth and better understanding and wisdom. I've been blessed beyond measure. So, why, in the middle of all of that can't I keep an appointment with myself to do 2 simple blogs? Yep...failure.

And then I read other blogs and I'm so impressed and so inspired and so...well you get the point. Here's my "reason" (a.k.a. excuse): I'm not usually sitting at a computer at those moments or it's not convenient. And I realize that I hate writing a blog on my mobile devices because I feel like I'm literally all thumbs and my fingers can't keep up with my brain like I do on a keyboard. So the inspiration comes and then I write off-line in this place or that and have good intentions to post "when I get a chance" but then the fire for the message dwindles. I begin to feel a gag sneak on my words/thoughts and I second guess whether anyone would even want to hear/read what I have to say until sleep comes upon me, a new day dawns, I look up and the whole idea is gone.

Such is the cycle of my writer's life.

And then today I was so convicted about my silence and had a revelation as I talked to a friend and read another inspiring blog. It's a serious revelation. You ready? This is BIG little stuff...seriously...wait for it...wait for it...I'M SCARED. I admit it (sorta). I'm one of those people who is filled with ideas, filled with motivation to start and often waylayed in trying to maintain and/or finish strong. I know it's just me (haha...suuuure...), so I'll just ask you to pray with me. Because, honestly, I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of allowing the enemy to win by making me self-conscious. I'm tired of feeling gagged by the enemy's lies...tired of feeling like there's stuff bubbling up inside of me just waiting to burst forward but then being too nervous to let it flow freely and with excellence and order and timeliness and commitment. If I am willy-nilly about my blogs, then you won't expect anything from me. You won't hold me to it. But I don't want that anymore. So I'm asking...no begging for accountability. I know I've been here before--where I try to get jump started again after my fears submerge my fingers. I could listen to the devil and throw in the towel and just say "forget it", but I was convicted today that God is a God of second, third...million chances. And so if there's a new opportunity to be obedient, to get closer to His Will, then I should reach out and grab it with gusto! I'm asking for you to reach out in email or comment and say "hey...we haven't heard from you in a while and you need to get on your job".

Because, in the end, it's not really my job that I need to get on. I need to remember it's not about me or being worried about what other people may think about what I have to say. In the end, it's God's business I need to be about. I feel like Jonah in the proverbial big fish running from this part of my call. All the rest of the stuff I've accepted with gusto and fervency. This side...not-so-much. So here I type...asking for your iron to sharpen my iron and help me in my quest for obedience.

Blessings,
MinD

Set It Off...

I really do try my best not to compare myself to others. Over the years, I've tried to develop a good sense of worth--knowing that my ultimate worth comes from God and all that jazz... But the truth of it is that beyond that "Sunday School" answer. There are days when I feel nothing like that. Especially on a hospital ship where you're not a doctor or nurse. It can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and not feel like what you bring to the table is of value. Or if you're married, comparing yourself to your "free to mingle" single friends. And if you're single, envying the thighs and legs in your married friends' buckets... I mean I can quote Psalm 139:14 about how I'm fearfully and wonderfully made and sure of God's marvelous work in me; but then when I was being hateful last week or struggling with trying to bring every thought into subjection I didn't feel so wonderful or marvelously worked. .

So it made my walk the other day all-the-more special. I love how God works with me even in all my non-marvelosity (yes...I just made up a word). I was walking around the other morning and saw a daisy-like flower in the midst of the rose bush. And I thought to myself, "what would it be like to be that daisy amidst the roses?" It could go one of two ways: 1) I could decide that I am nothing compared to these fancy flowers that everyone covets or 2) I could decide that I am so FABULOUS that it only takes one of you to set it off.

Yeah...I'm I'm leaning towards the second option, and I'm hoping that today is one of those FABULOUS days for you too. #ThatIsAll!

Right F.O.C.U.S.

I've always struggled with the idea of writing for the sake of writing. I don't do it. If there's nothing pressing on my mind, you better believe that I probably won't keep to the "schedule" of email delivery that I thought would work best. But that's only part of it. Because the truth is there are times when God really is working something in my heart, mind and spirit and I'm being a bit of the proverbial ostrich with my head in the sand and not facing it. Because yeah...we all know the truth is that...once it's "out there" (When Harry Met Sally reference for those who do that kind of thing) then it's just plain "out there" and we all know that EVERYthing on the Internet is true...(riiiight...).

So, real talk...I've been in a particularly vulnerable place the last couple of years and I haven't necessarily felt like living that fully in front of everyone. I think that finally the Lord has convicted me enough to know that I can't continue to do this and I must FOCUS. So here I am...reviving the blog. And what's the first thing that God puts on my mind? A tape I've been playing in my mind for about 15 years now--I'm a "Jack (or Jill in this case) of all trades and a master of none".

You see, I had a friend tell me this as I was about to make a big move in my life. It was an interesting time and my friends had sat me down to basically "tell me about myself" and in the midst she said this thing: "Andrea, you're a Jack of all trades and a master of none" and then proceeded to tell me how I needed to decide what I wanted to master and focus. From that point forward, I became a bit self-conscious. Every time that I felt the Lord tugging in a different direction, I'd have her words in the back of my mind--focus. Every time I felt free to express myself in this creative way or the other--focus. Every time my life hasn't aligned with what "normal" people would do--focus. Every time my faith has challenged me--focus. Focus, focus, focus...until I finally got the revelation that GOD was the one who gifted me in many ways. And, though those gifts don't always make sense to someone from the outside looking in, but they do make sense to Him. He is the giver of every good gift. The fact that I can sing or write or take a picture or preach or teach or...well whatever...Should I just become a singer because that would lend to someone's definition of focus? Should I only write because that would mean I'm "focused".

I've decided to take her advice finally and FOCUS for real...I'm focusing on God and focusing on faith and focusing on using EVERYthing He gave me to meet the end goal--glorifying Him. And I continue to struggle with that tape playing. But at least at this point the tape is so warped that these days it doesn't have the same power it used to...And I'm praying that for you. I'm praying that your tapes begin to warp and eventually just plain stop working. I'm praying that as you walk in faith you maintain the right focus--Faith Obscuring Communication Unearthed by Satan.

Blessings,
MinD

New Perspective...

I was thinking of the decision to leave my job the last few days. Well...it's something I think of often and piece my decision apart to ensure that I heard God and made the right move. Though it's difficult for me to understand in the midst of my circumstances, I usually end my thoughts reassured. So when I encounter someone along my path who I tell if this journey, I'm not completely clueless as to why they have a difficult time understanding my choice. And then recently, I got a new perspective on the decision.

If our nation were at war, and I had made a decision to drop everything and fight in that war. Even if there were little to no pay involved, people would not struggle to understand. If that very war was a threat to my life--putting me in harm's way and risking death--people would consider me valiant. Even if my family despised the decision, the support of my nation and comrades would carry me through and reinforce the decision on a daily basis.

And so it is in ministry. I believe that there is a war between what's righteous and evil going on in this world. The Bible tells us we war against "powers and principalities". I believe that people's lives are at stake if we don't do the work to fight for them; and I took drastic measures to join the fight full time. I expect that some friends and family may begrudge the choice I've made, but I'm girded up on every side by comrades in the Kingdom who know the struggle and understand the necessity. I have people I can call when I'm thrown of by a tactical move made by the enemy or when I'm awed by the protection of my God.

I say all of this to say that if you don't have those type of comrades, you are fighting in the wrong unit. If you are floundering out there trying to justify your decision, I encourage you to start simply telling people you are a captain or general in battle for a secret operatives team. That will quiet them. In the end, you must follow after what GOD said and not what man fears.

Be encouraged and stay focused!
MinD

Persevering After The Hit

The concept of perseverance is one that is often learned the hard way. We are placed in situations where we're pushed to our limits. However, today, I found encouragement to persevere in the oddest of places. I was reading an article today about an owl. I know that's an odd topic to randomly be reading about, but a tweet on the ABC News twitter feed caught my eye. Apparently, a woman in Florida hit an owl who, in turn, got stuck in the front grill of her vehicle and remained alive throughout the ordeal. "The owl that a Florida tourist hit with her SUV and unwittingly transported for about 100 miles in the grill of her vehicle appears to have survived the ordeal none the worse for the ride..." the article read. And as I tried to move on to the next thought, I couldn't shake the look of this owl peaking out from the front fender of her car:

Photo Credit to ABC News

As I gazed at the picture, the Lord began to minister to me about how there are times in our lives when we take a hit, sometimes get stuck, get taken along for the ride and end up "no worse for the wear". In fact, like this owl, we sometimes make it to our destination a little shaken up but definitely in a new (and perhaps better) environment. Here was an owl who, for all intents and purposes could have FLOWN the 100 miles to where it ended up. But God took it there another way. In essence, it was transported sort of like Jonah in the belly of the great fish--it didn't get there the conventional way but an unorthodox route.

God is taking so many of us by an unorthodox route. He has used a "hit" to get us in position to be carried to that next place in life. And all we can do at the end of the day is praise Him for delivering us safely to the place of HIS plan. Though that owl may not have planned to go that way, God had a greater plan. Though the owl felt "stuck" along the way, God was moving it with purpose and intention. And just when the owl should have been forgotten, someone took notice and brought it out of bondage...out of its sticking place. I just believe that the same God that did this for an owl, would do so much more for us (his favored children). I believe that God allowed so many of us to get hit by life. I believe that many of us are feeling stuck in a holding pattern. But, I believe that, beyond what we can see, God is moving me/us with purpose and intention. We are along for the ride. I believe that just at that moment when we feel we've been forgotten, deliverance will occur. I believe that, just like this owl, we will persevere beyond the hits and our life's experience will tell a testimony for many to see when it's all said and done.

Yeah...that's what I believe.

Be encouraged.

Blessings,
MinD

P.S. You can read the full story of this amazing owl at http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/02/florida-driver-hits-owl-that-survives-miles-in-suv-grill/

Back In The Game

I read an article recently called "Dating While Smart". It was a well-constructed diatribe about the woes of being a smart woman (particularly African American) in the dating world. She expounded on the pressure to "dumb it down" and the simple lack of men of her "caliber" around to make the dating experience anything less than frustrated.

Much of what she wrote, I could identify with to a certain extent. As an African American woman whose understanding of the world is shaped by my multicultural/multicontinental upbringing and multiple degrees of higher education, I have faced similar expectations and frustrations. Without sounding arrogant, it simply presents it's own set of challenges. Though my personal preferences do not exclude men with educational backgrounds different from mine, I do have a desire to have whoever I am involved with challenge me to be better. And, as I read her words, I found myself thinking of the added challenge (I hate to say) that my faith tends to add to how and who I consider in my dating life.

You see, I'm a firm believer in what the Bible says--we are not to be "unequally" yoked in our relationships (2 Cor 6:14). However, the reality of that is harder to live out for me than I would like to admit. The truth of the matter is that I struggle with that side that wants to simplify life and remove every hurdle that I have imagined exists (though not necessarily real) and just be ME. I'm a Christian and proud of that fact, but dealing with other people's assumptions about what that must mean is not fun.

It seems that everyone has their ideas of who I am before giving me a chance to be me. Ive had several well-intentioned gentlemen tell me that they couldn't pursue anything with me or other Christian women serious about their walk for fear of living in a space of being judged at every turn for their human frailties. And the truth is that I don't want to compromise my Christian standards. I don't want to deal with someone who is completely insensitive to my faith. But here has to be a happy middle ground, because I find myself frustrated by the constant miseducation of the world on Christians.

The unfortunate truth is that it isn't the world's fault that they feel this way. It's our fault as Christians who have approached the world in constant judgement because of legalistic rules that only apply to a few and have little to do with faith. One guy assumed in jest that I may be opposed to wearing high heels...really?? This is what my dating world is like?! Much of it makes me honestly want to strip myself of my faith-based titles and those assumptions at times. But when I even start to lean in that direction, I remember how much God loves me. I remember that, despite my sin, He acknowledges me at every turn. I remember that, God even says that if we deny him before men, he will deny us before the Heavenly Father.

And so, despite my frustrations of being "Saved While Dating", I persevere knowing that the RIGHT one will "find" me and will be able to see me. What I will never do is disavow my faith to accommodate ignorance. I guess I'll have to just chalk it up to being back in the dating game.

It is what it is.Keep walkin'...

MinD

Radical Without Apology (Safe Ministry?!)

Yesterday, I began a service project doing a clean-up in a sketchy area of town all alone. I waited for a moment before beginning. However, it quickly became evident that those who signed up were not necessarily going to show up. I remembered that I had made a commitment to God that was without conditions. I didn't say to Him "I'll serve you if I have company." When I said "Yes" to Him, there was no caveat for "only when I can be assured that my life is not in danger." And so I kept my eyes open, the worship music lightly playing in my headphones and a prayer coming from my lips as I began to fill a bag with the liquor bottles and other trash that were evidence of a community that had begun to lost hope. And I prayed as I went that the power of God would overtake that place and that hope would be restored. And about 1/2 hour in, one of my co-laborers showed up. And about 1/2 hour after her, another pressed her way through sickness to fulfill her own personal promise to God. Not everyone showed up. There were no men in our Three-woman crew. But we watched and prayed as we cleaned and left feeling like we had really done something.

Later that day, I was confronted by the well-meaning words of a friend who, out of love, felt that I should have bailed and called it a day when no one showed up. Their good intentions sparked me to continue an internal debate that I have been having with myself for some time now. It's a debate that has been fueled by the loving suggestions of well-meaning friends and family, my own Type A desire to have things happen "just so", and by news reports that share the reality of the dangerous life of Christians around the world. The question centers around whether or not I should practice "safe" ministry.

In many ways that term "safe" seems at a complete odds with the word "ministry". When I read my Bible, I see story after story of people sticking out their necks for God. The three Hebrew boys in the book of Daniel didn't choose safety when they were faced with the fiery furnace (Daniel 3:19-25). Paul's entire life was one prison experience after another after he began living for Christ. And I've always felt a kinship to Queen Esther whose famous words were "if I perish, I perish!" (Esther 4:16) as she made a decision to do what was right for God. Furthermore, Christ is the ultimate example of one who came ready to sacrifice for what righteousness' sake. When I read The Great Commission in Matthew 28, I see where it says to 'go and make disciples and baptize folks' but I fail to note any follow-up verse that says "Only go to places you can control the safety. If you're a woman, be sure you're accompanied by a man. If you're sick, stay home in bed so you don't wear yourself out. If you're going to be alone, just cancel that trip and reschedule a new one." 

Am I missing something?! Do you see those words in the Bible somewhere? I know that we are told to use wisdom in all that we do. There is no question about that. Wisdom means being clear about being led by God and not by some adventurous/rebellious spirit. Wisdom means constantly praying. Wisdom means using as many resources as are available to you as long as they are not at the expense of doing ministry. However, I think that the Western Christian church has taken that to the extreme and act as though wisdom means protect yourself at all cost. We timidly act as though God is not THE God who is El Shaddai (God all mighty) and Jehovah Nissi (our banner)--able to protect and keep us in all situations according to His will. We have taken that as a license to limit ministry and, consequently, limit the potential to impact the world for God. But, the truth of Christianity is that we are called to die both in the spirit and flesh. We are called to a life of sacrifice and, if we are really trying to emulate CHRIST, then we take that calling to also include the potential to sacrifice our life for what we believe in. So it would seem that, instead of making decisions to cancel mission trips to war-torn, non-evangelized areas, churches around the U.S. should be rallying to focus their efforts on those areas where the hope of Christ is needed the most. Instead of talking about what we can't do, we need to live in the midst of the Truth that says that we can 'do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us' (Philippians 4:13).
  
I weep when I read reports of all of the men, women and children around the globe and throughout history who have been martyred for Christ. Trust me, I am not trying to be one of them. But, I am also not running scared from that possibility. In the Western world we have the luxury of choice when it comes down to it. We choose our level of commitment to God and to His Gospel based on our comfort and convenience: Church on Sundays and Wednesdays is fine, but don't challenge me to come out on a Saturday when it's cold or raining to clean or evangelize or simply encourage another human being out of my comfort zone...sigh...That's simply not okay with me. And so, I have ended the internal debate and have chosen to not be a wimpy Christian. I have decided to let nothing stop me from doing what I feel God says to do. When things happen, I want to be able to rest in the knowledge that they happened under God's watch and not because I wasn't obedient. I can't allow my gender or size or finances or anything else stop me from pursuing after God with a vengeance. I believe that God is looking for more people to step up out of the boat, step out into this big bad world and say, "If I perish, I perish." and then TRUST Him to cover them as they serve on His behalf. 

Hope you'll join me...

Blessings,
MinD

What's In A Name?

A few months ago, I had a life-changing moment/experience--I was ordained. While, I've been licensed for many years now, this was the next step in this water-walking experience. I remember when I got licensed, it was a difficult transition to hear your name called with title..."Minister So-And-So" just felt ominous so this newest transition to "Pastor" and "Prophet" really has thrown me for a loop... And one of the first questions that people ask me when they've seen me since my ordination is "What should I call you now?" And I it never fails that I don't usually know what they're talking about at first and then I remember..."OOOOhhh! You're talking about THAT!"

You see, I've never been one for titles. I have gotten fussed at by friends and family over the years because I didn't use the letters after my name that my degrees endow me with. It's just not me to get tripped up on whether you call me Minister or if you simply call my name. I'm me. I've been me for some time now and I'm going to keep being ME (titles or not). I suppose it's the same thought that women have when they get married. For years, you've just been who you are and now, by virtue of a new relationship, you are supposed to answer to Mrs NewLastName. It's a culture shock and one that some women embrace more readily than others.

For me, the titles of education and ministry have been much the same. I readily embrace them but have to admit that I still don't know what the big deal is most of the time. No...I take that back...I get it. I understand that titles help people know what to do with you. They help people categorize you. And, perhaps it's just me, but I don't often feel like my titles and alphabet soup at the end of my name really provide good guidance. They tell you what I can do for you professionally, spiritually, ministerially. They speak to the fact that someone has vetted me and that I've gone through some stuff to be able to help you. And they help me remember that I have a certain responsibility as an ambassador for Christ. But for all the stereotypes and assumptions that come with the titles Minister, Elder, Pastor, Prophet/Prophetess, I'm not sure any one of those titles would completely help you know that I am a down-to-earth person who is simply trying to live for God; who makes mistakes but tries my best not to; who loves to laugh and not always at the most appropriate things; who loves people but has bad moods sometimes and doesn't want to be bothered; who wants to hear your story and wants to tell you mine; who tries to be reliable but sometimes will drop the ball; who offers help but is sometimes the one who needs it; and who, most importantly, wants to simply be ME.

So what should you call me? Hmm...if I'm thinking of what's real, I'd say...call me Joy, Peace, Love, Prosperity, and Hope. Call me by my name. I promise I'll answer. The rest is just...well...names...

Blessings,
MinD

Lord, Fix My Clock!

About a month ago, I decided to redo my bathroom--fresh paint, new artwork, new look for the new year. I thought it'd make sense to add a clock to the mix and remembered a clock I had sitting in my kitchen may be a good addition to the new decor.

After putting in a new battery and realigning it's arms, I thought for sure it would be a working time piece. But alas there was a reason it had been taken out of commission the first time. It didn't work. But I couldn't bring myself to take it down. For some reason, every time I thought about the clock, that old gospel song would come to mind and I'd find myself humming "He's an on time God. Yes He is."

And so today...this day where nothing seemed to go as planned, I decided to change my mindset. Instead of having an accidental reminder that God's timing is not man's/my timing, I decided to be intentional about that thing. Setting the clock to be permanently right before the midnight hour, I scribbled those haunting yet hopeful words.

Maybe you don't have a tangible broken clock, but I would venture a guess that you have a virtual one. And you are needing God to fix your clock to be aligned with His timing before you lose your mind in frustration. Like me, you are waiting on someone our something from the Lord. Today, be encouraged that He's not forgotten you. If you need to, print a copy of my picture our make one of your own; but, no matter how you do it, be reminded that He WILL be right on time.

Keep walking that water and be encouraged,
MinD

What A Difference A Day Makes

There are times when you feel as though you're struggling through and panting to see when a shift will occur. Today is not one of those days. I've spent the last few weeks getting excited about a turn of events that I didn't think would excite me quite this much. Something that I feel I worked for but never got...something that was in the back of my mind's eye is finally beginning to come to fruition. And while it doesn't matter what that thing is, what does matter is that I was reminded this week again of how God is a promise keeper. My hope is not for nothing and my focus on Jesus has been reinforced by a little boost from the Lord to remind me that He's in control.

I've written before about hearing someone use the saying "It's only 5 minutes to change". Truly, that's a concept that sometimes evades us. But I want to encourage you today as you wait and walk with me out on this water that life can shift for the good as much as it may have shifted for the bad in the past. Just know that it doesn't take very long for change to occur. One day you'll be pouting and the next you'll look up to see a glimmer of hope. And what's key is to look for the glimmer instead of focusing on the darkness. Stars are beautiful in the night sky, but if all we did was focus on the black instead of the twinkle of the white sky lights, we'd miss that magic and beauty.

I hope today you see that glimmer...

Be encouraged!
MinD

Nowhere Sea is Not for Punks!

It's been a while since I've posted and the reason was clear...I felt like I didn't have anything good to say. But today, I realized that I had allowed the enemy to silence me instead of celebrating whereever I am. So I figured I'd let you in on just where that is: just beyond the Bermuda Triangle in the Nowhere Sea.

Okay. Maybe I exaggerate a tad, but that's the feeling that I've had. What do you do when you feel like you were called to be one thing but life looks completely different. I am called to preach and I haven't been in a pulpit in months. I am called to publish books and I haven't finished the two that are "in progress" right now. I am called to travel the world evangelizing and my passport hasn't had a stamp almost two years. I believe I'm supposed to be married and I haven't had a serious relationship in over two years. I want to have kids and well...need to conquer that marriage thing first if at all possible. So yeah...here I am on the Nowhere Sea and it feel like this must be where people disappear to when they hit the Bermuda Triangle.

All I can say is, this water-walking deal is not for punks. Yes, I knew it would be hard, but I just couldn't imagine what it would feel like. It's one thing to be broke but to feel broken is whole other issue. It's one thing to be lost but to feel like a loser is a different story. It's one thing to fail but to feel like a failure takes a lot more energy. And speaking faith to yourself when those are the thoughts crossing your mind every hour is a full time job. Do you get it? If you could close your eyes and imagine yourself out in the middle of an ocean, standing on the water but not understanding how... That would be me. At times you look up and see ships passing by--friends and family on board living life--and you feel like you could just reach out and grab them but they are out of reach before you know it. That would be me. You hear God's voice but don't see Him and are trying to stay true to what He said. That would be me. You just don't know what is coming next or how life is going to work this week. That would definitely be me.

So I'm hanging in there and decided today that takes courage and that has got to be good enough...for now. Cuz I'M NO PUNK!

That is all.

MinD

Blessings Along The Way

Midway through my morning walk, I decided to incorporate a bit of "simple service" into my route. I had walked a mile out and so on the mile back decided to use the small grocery bag I'd found in my pocket to pick up trash. It was my own mini-community clean up. The bag quickly filled to it's breaking point so I had to stop. However, on my last handful of trash with my gloved hand, I noticed something to the side of the discarded beer can I was picking up--a lone dollar bill.

I was immediately encouraged. The dollar may not go far in my struggling bank account, but it wasn't about the money. Some may have even left it on the ground because it was among the dirt and muck. However, those words on the back "In God We Trust" shouted at me to recognize the blessing that I had found along the way. The Lord sent this dollar to remind me of how there are blessings in the most unexpected places along life's route. When we focus on our surroundings and circumstances instead of doing the work God sent us to do (serving others and Him), we miss those small blessings around us that are the voice of God saying "I am still here.", "I have not forgotten you." and "You can trust Me."

I think that I will frame that dollar as a constant reminder of God's sweet blessings. If I could, I'd send you a framed dollar as well but that's not possible. What I can tell you is that He's still here, He hasn't forgotten you, and He's worthy of your trust. Take your eyes off your circumstance and get busy with His business and the blessings will truly overtake you.

Be encouraged!
--MinD

Don't Take It Personal...

Back in the day, there was this song...I can't even remember who sang it...but it has been coming to mind a lot t. It went a little something like this: "Don't take it personal. Take the bitter with the sweet. Easy come. Easy go." The last couple of weeks, that's what has been on my mind.

You see, it's easy for me to get really personally attached to everything that is going on in my life right now, INCLUDING business/ministry. These days, this IS my life. This is my focus. This is my baby. I've already pouted about how this walk on the water is definitely a lonely one, but what makes it more "interesting" is that nothing I'm doing is as important to anyone else as it is to me. I've gotten frustrated at times, wanting to shake the world and say "come on it's time!!!". But, I have to remember that nothing that God has given me is necessarily going to make or break someone else's life where it may just make or break mine. When you work for someone else, in another person's 'vineyard', it's easy to be somewhat detached to the process. We are all well-meaning in our volunteer and work efforts for others but can never be as invested as the person for whom this is their life.

That is an important thing for me to remember as things don't go the way I want or disappointments come my way or even as people decide not to be involved with me or my ministry. Though it's hard not to take it personal, it's a must. No matter what we go through in our lives, we have to remember that our walk with God is a personal one. A wise friend once told me that God gives US enough faith for what He's called us to do and not other people. So we can't be mad or astounded when they don't believe or connect at the level that we would like. Even in our personal lives, we can't be mad if our husbands, wives, friends, parents don't "get it" when we want to go a specific direction. We just have to trust that God will work on them enough to not hinder our process and so that they will instead enhance that which he's given us.

So, in the mean time, I'll continue humming that song..."Don't take it personal...take the bitter with the sweet..." because I truly understand that, though bitter comes, sweet is right around the corner!

Be encouraged!
--MinD

By the way, if you remember who that song was by...comment on this and let me know or it's gonna bug me all day! :)