My Hugutation

Several years ago, I went on a mission/vision trip to Lucknow, India with the express point of ministering to the Dalit people. If you know anything about the Indian caste system, then you know that the Dalit people are the lowest on the ladder. In fact, they are what some call "The Untouchables". These are people who have historically been cast aside and relegated to the dirtiest of jobs--handling trash, waste and blood products. They are bound by this cultural, sociological system that says they are nothing to God and therefore nothing to man.When I heard about them, all I wanted to do was fly across the world and hug.

Three Dalit girls I came across in Lucknow.

Now I realize that everyone doesn't want a hug, but it was in that moment that I began to see how much we (society, humanity) had allowed the enemy to steal something so precious and such a simple way of showing people the love of God through physical touch. Without being lascivious, there are hugs and human touch that simply about communicating the message "I care".

Then the other day, I sat in the room across from a momma and held her little girl's hand. As soon as I touched the little girl's hand, tears began to flow from her mother's eyes and sprung into the recesses of her own. She was about 8 years old and looked like any one of my god children... They had gone from doctor to doctor and heard the same answer--no. And we were no different. We couldn't give the girl the medical treatment that she was looking for, but I knew in that moment that I could give her something different--a touch.

You see, I've developed a bit of a reputation for being "that person". I'm the one who when you've had a bad day or you're missing home while here on the mission field or you simply realized that it's been days since anyone has touched you besides a hand shake who will reach out in bonafide, Christian love. There's no cost for what I give. No judgement. There's no malintent. I have no hidden sexual desire that I'm fulfilling. And I want nothing in return. The reason why I hug is because it's a simple way to bridge the gap and say "you matter". It's a simple way to put action to my words "Jesus loves you and so do I." It's a simple way to cross socioeconomic, geographic, gender, cultural lines and speak the same language of caring.

My kind of fun. This lady in Canada along
with her friends took a day in winter (when
people are depressed and lonely) to spread love
one hug at a time. Genius!

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm talking about my hugutation (hug+reputation). This week, someone confronted me about my hugs and tried to convince me to squash them. I can admit that I was saddened (and irritated) that a fellow Christian missionary would be so limited in how they thought about (appropriate) human touch. But I know that person isn't alone. Having been on the mission field now for almost a decade, I even understand the cross cultural dynamics of where this person was coming from. But, the truth is that we live in a world where the enemy has us so thoroughly convinced that all touch must be interpreted through the societal "naughty filter". But I choose to use a different filter to govern my actions--JESUS. I know that an appropriate hug on the right day can make all the difference in anyone's day. I may even have a T-Shirt printed that says "free hugs here" or a sign around my neck. But in the absence of those marketing tools, I'll just tell you: if you pass me in the street, and you're having a lousy day...reach out and maybe, just maybe, I'll be there to catch you. But if it's not me, then I hope that you'll pass a hug, a touch of simple care along to someone else you encounter who just needs their day to be boosted.

Be encouraged and don't be scared! God's love is bigger than the devils innuendo.

Blessings,
MinD

Lifting My Gag (Again)

I feel like I've failed.

No...not in the most conventional ways. I have had a lot of "success" in the 40 years that I've been on this earth. I've had a lot of moments to cherish. I've had a lot of opportunities for growth and better understanding and wisdom. I've been blessed beyond measure. So, why, in the middle of all of that can't I keep an appointment with myself to do 2 simple blogs? Yep...failure.

And then I read other blogs and I'm so impressed and so inspired and so...well you get the point. Here's my "reason" (a.k.a. excuse): I'm not usually sitting at a computer at those moments or it's not convenient. And I realize that I hate writing a blog on my mobile devices because I feel like I'm literally all thumbs and my fingers can't keep up with my brain like I do on a keyboard. So the inspiration comes and then I write off-line in this place or that and have good intentions to post "when I get a chance" but then the fire for the message dwindles. I begin to feel a gag sneak on my words/thoughts and I second guess whether anyone would even want to hear/read what I have to say until sleep comes upon me, a new day dawns, I look up and the whole idea is gone.

Such is the cycle of my writer's life.

And then today I was so convicted about my silence and had a revelation as I talked to a friend and read another inspiring blog. It's a serious revelation. You ready? This is BIG little stuff...seriously...wait for it...wait for it...I'M SCARED. I admit it (sorta). I'm one of those people who is filled with ideas, filled with motivation to start and often waylayed in trying to maintain and/or finish strong. I know it's just me (haha...suuuure...), so I'll just ask you to pray with me. Because, honestly, I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of allowing the enemy to win by making me self-conscious. I'm tired of feeling gagged by the enemy's lies...tired of feeling like there's stuff bubbling up inside of me just waiting to burst forward but then being too nervous to let it flow freely and with excellence and order and timeliness and commitment. If I am willy-nilly about my blogs, then you won't expect anything from me. You won't hold me to it. But I don't want that anymore. So I'm asking...no begging for accountability. I know I've been here before--where I try to get jump started again after my fears submerge my fingers. I could listen to the devil and throw in the towel and just say "forget it", but I was convicted today that God is a God of second, third...million chances. And so if there's a new opportunity to be obedient, to get closer to His Will, then I should reach out and grab it with gusto! I'm asking for you to reach out in email or comment and say "hey...we haven't heard from you in a while and you need to get on your job".

Because, in the end, it's not really my job that I need to get on. I need to remember it's not about me or being worried about what other people may think about what I have to say. In the end, it's God's business I need to be about. I feel like Jonah in the proverbial big fish running from this part of my call. All the rest of the stuff I've accepted with gusto and fervency. This side...not-so-much. So here I type...asking for your iron to sharpen my iron and help me in my quest for obedience.

Blessings,
MinD

Sounding Crazy But Oh So Satisfied

I've really been reflecting on just how ludicrous I sound when I tell people what it is that I'm doing. Most people can get excited when I tell them that I'm volunteering. They even get behind the idea of doing missions. And for those who have heard of Mercy Ships then it's another step in the right direction for them...that is until you explain that Mercy Ships is a purely volunteer mission. No matter how long you stay, each and every volunteer employee pays his/her way. Can you imagine?! It even sounds foreign to my own ears when I repeat it out loud. Who does this?!

Then I remember that I do. There are so many parts of my journey that have been challenging. Relationships have come and gone. I'm still waiting on Mr. Right to sweep me off my feet. Still no kids and my ovaries are withering. I'm still waiting on my financial ship to come in. But I have to admit that in the midst of it all, I'm extremely content in the place that I am. It doesn't mean I don't want more. The more I want means I am still leaving room for God to fulfill hopes and dreams and heart's desires. However, I'm not pining after those things and I've really been trying to cherish every single moment that comes my way.

And so I realized something after I got over the shock of how crazy I sound. I realized that I also sound satisfied. They say you're really doing something you love when you would do it for free, so I suppose that if you pay to do something then you are over the moon. And for today, I'll take that...

Set It Off...

I really do try my best not to compare myself to others. Over the years, I've tried to develop a good sense of worth--knowing that my ultimate worth comes from God and all that jazz... But the truth of it is that beyond that "Sunday School" answer. There are days when I feel nothing like that. Especially on a hospital ship where you're not a doctor or nurse. It can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and not feel like what you bring to the table is of value. Or if you're married, comparing yourself to your "free to mingle" single friends. And if you're single, envying the thighs and legs in your married friends' buckets... I mean I can quote Psalm 139:14 about how I'm fearfully and wonderfully made and sure of God's marvelous work in me; but then when I was being hateful last week or struggling with trying to bring every thought into subjection I didn't feel so wonderful or marvelously worked. .

So it made my walk the other day all-the-more special. I love how God works with me even in all my non-marvelosity (yes...I just made up a word). I was walking around the other morning and saw a daisy-like flower in the midst of the rose bush. And I thought to myself, "what would it be like to be that daisy amidst the roses?" It could go one of two ways: 1) I could decide that I am nothing compared to these fancy flowers that everyone covets or 2) I could decide that I am so FABULOUS that it only takes one of you to set it off.

Yeah...I'm I'm leaning towards the second option, and I'm hoping that today is one of those FABULOUS days for you too. #ThatIsAll!

Right F.O.C.U.S.

I've always struggled with the idea of writing for the sake of writing. I don't do it. If there's nothing pressing on my mind, you better believe that I probably won't keep to the "schedule" of email delivery that I thought would work best. But that's only part of it. Because the truth is there are times when God really is working something in my heart, mind and spirit and I'm being a bit of the proverbial ostrich with my head in the sand and not facing it. Because yeah...we all know the truth is that...once it's "out there" (When Harry Met Sally reference for those who do that kind of thing) then it's just plain "out there" and we all know that EVERYthing on the Internet is true...(riiiight...).

So, real talk...I've been in a particularly vulnerable place the last couple of years and I haven't necessarily felt like living that fully in front of everyone. I think that finally the Lord has convicted me enough to know that I can't continue to do this and I must FOCUS. So here I am...reviving the blog. And what's the first thing that God puts on my mind? A tape I've been playing in my mind for about 15 years now--I'm a "Jack (or Jill in this case) of all trades and a master of none".

You see, I had a friend tell me this as I was about to make a big move in my life. It was an interesting time and my friends had sat me down to basically "tell me about myself" and in the midst she said this thing: "Andrea, you're a Jack of all trades and a master of none" and then proceeded to tell me how I needed to decide what I wanted to master and focus. From that point forward, I became a bit self-conscious. Every time that I felt the Lord tugging in a different direction, I'd have her words in the back of my mind--focus. Every time I felt free to express myself in this creative way or the other--focus. Every time my life hasn't aligned with what "normal" people would do--focus. Every time my faith has challenged me--focus. Focus, focus, focus...until I finally got the revelation that GOD was the one who gifted me in many ways. And, though those gifts don't always make sense to someone from the outside looking in, but they do make sense to Him. He is the giver of every good gift. The fact that I can sing or write or take a picture or preach or teach or...well whatever...Should I just become a singer because that would lend to someone's definition of focus? Should I only write because that would mean I'm "focused".

I've decided to take her advice finally and FOCUS for real...I'm focusing on God and focusing on faith and focusing on using EVERYthing He gave me to meet the end goal--glorifying Him. And I continue to struggle with that tape playing. But at least at this point the tape is so warped that these days it doesn't have the same power it used to...And I'm praying that for you. I'm praying that your tapes begin to warp and eventually just plain stop working. I'm praying that as you walk in faith you maintain the right focus--Faith Obscuring Communication Unearthed by Satan.

Blessings,
MinD

H-U-M-I-L-I-T-Y

The last couple of weeks have been a journey in self-definition and humility. Often, it feels like humility is a curse...even saying the word has a bit of sting that can be spelled out like a 4-letter word. There's no other way to say it than to admit that I have pride issues. Oh...YOU TOO?! Good...For a minute there, I thought I was alone. I figured that there were so many times when I would think that I've got it. I'd have a conversation with the Lord and "let him know" (as if He's taking advice from me), that we didn't have to go through these humbling lessons anymore. "I've got it already!" Ha! I suppose that if you have to say anything about it, then you probably don't really have it. So as I've learned, like Paul, to be "abased and abound" (Philippians 4:12) God continues to mold me like clay and purify me like gold. And, while it's not comfortable, I've truly come to a place where I can appreciate parts of this journey. In the role I have right now of housekeeping on a medical mission, I have come to a place where all I hear each day in my head that Jesus came to serve and not be served.

just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)

Wow...what a privilege it has become for me to walk out this road of service. I'm not perfect as Christ was. I don't always want to be the one doing the serving, but I have come to such a genuine place of peace in the midst of it all...

I pray today that you too are able to take the sting out of service. As you walk this Christian journey, it is my prayer that you constantly remember that humility is a journey and begin to appreciate the ride.

Blessings,
MinD

Out Of The Boat & Then Back On...Go figure!

This weekend, my life shifted ever the more. Months ago I made a decision to take some time and apply to serve on Mercy Ships. After some time in the application process, I was approved and began the process of raising money and getting my life ready for this drastic shift. Though I'm still raising money, I have gone forward with full force. And so in this journey to be "water walking" out here on the water with Jesus

, I've found myself conveniently back on the boat...literally! 

It's all been very exciting. I arrived here in Pointe Noire, Congo a couple of days ago. I was worn out after 24+ hours of travel, but my heart was overflowing! We arrived under the cloak of darkness so it felt like Christmas morning the next day to get up and hurry to a window so I could see out. I've spent these few days getting acquainted and settling in and being somewhat overwhelmed by the potential of what can be done here.

When I made the decision to make this trip, it was at the prodding of the Holy Spirit yet again to make a move. I find myself in familiar yet unfamiliar territory. I'm sure you're wondering how that's possible. I'd say that I've almost become familiar with the idea that I'm out here on this faith walk and don't know much about what the end result will be. But the unfamiliarity comes in redefining myself. Over the last couple of months, I've had the pleasure to wander around and spend quality time with family and friends before making this trip. Inevitably the question that has continually come my way is "Where are you from?" and "What are you doing?" 

How is it possible that such simple questions could render me completely at a loss. People ask these questions because they help them to categorize you or find points of commonality. However, what happens when you can't articulate simple answers to such simple questions? I've come to that place in my life where I no longer identify with "where I'm from". I've come to say that 'I'm from here and there' or a child of the world. I sound like a hippie but it's how I feel. Perhaps if we were still in the 60's that's exactly what I'd be--a flower child. But in this day and age, it's unacceptable to not be able to say what you do and clearly help people know who you are. 

And so here I sit, on a boat on the dock in the Congo with the feeling that my life is changing with every little type of the keyboard. The shifts keep coming and I'm hanging in there. Perhaps I'll have a better answer soon to those self-defining questions...then again maybe I won't. But there's one thing I can say about this business of being out of this boat above all else: I'm surrounded with that immeasurable peace that surpasses understanding and I wouldn't trade that for the world. 

That's all for now!

Blessings,
MinD/PastorA

P.S. If you are interested in learning more about Mercy Ships or supporting my service (every dollar helps), you can visit my page at http://mercyships-us.donorpages.com/crewmates/AndreaDiallo.