Renewed Commitment

It's been a long while since we've talked. In general, I think that there's been so much going on that it makes me nervous to write it all out. I'm overwhelmed and so the thought of seeing my whirlwind in print has not been comforting. But as the Christmas holiday is slowly ebbing away and the New Year is fast-approaching, I find myself asking those questions that most people ask at the turn of the year: How do I want next year to be different? For me, writing is at the top of the list. And to steal a line (paraphrased of course) from that movie "Finding Forrester", I realize that the only way to truly be a writer is to WRITE. And so my ego is on the line, my discipline called into question and my soul laying wide open as I continue to share about this walk on the water. To play "catch up" in one entry would be virtually impossible, so I suspect that as stories unravel, you may begin to see the traces of my journey since we last "spoke". What I can tell you is that I feel once again like I'm on the verge of something new. I've got decisions to make and paths to blaze and I don't always make the right choices, but that's part of the journey, right? So let's do it...

What's In A Name?

A few months ago, I had a life-changing moment/experience--I was ordained. While, I've been licensed for many years now, this was the next step in this water-walking experience. I remember when I got licensed, it was a difficult transition to hear your name called with title..."Minister So-And-So" just felt ominous so this newest transition to "Pastor" and "Prophet" really has thrown me for a loop... And one of the first questions that people ask me when they've seen me since my ordination is "What should I call you now?" And I it never fails that I don't usually know what they're talking about at first and then I remember..."OOOOhhh! You're talking about THAT!"

You see, I've never been one for titles. I have gotten fussed at by friends and family over the years because I didn't use the letters after my name that my degrees endow me with. It's just not me to get tripped up on whether you call me Minister or if you simply call my name. I'm me. I've been me for some time now and I'm going to keep being ME (titles or not). I suppose it's the same thought that women have when they get married. For years, you've just been who you are and now, by virtue of a new relationship, you are supposed to answer to Mrs NewLastName. It's a culture shock and one that some women embrace more readily than others.

For me, the titles of education and ministry have been much the same. I readily embrace them but have to admit that I still don't know what the big deal is most of the time. No...I take that back...I get it. I understand that titles help people know what to do with you. They help people categorize you. And, perhaps it's just me, but I don't often feel like my titles and alphabet soup at the end of my name really provide good guidance. They tell you what I can do for you professionally, spiritually, ministerially. They speak to the fact that someone has vetted me and that I've gone through some stuff to be able to help you. And they help me remember that I have a certain responsibility as an ambassador for Christ. But for all the stereotypes and assumptions that come with the titles Minister, Elder, Pastor, Prophet/Prophetess, I'm not sure any one of those titles would completely help you know that I am a down-to-earth person who is simply trying to live for God; who makes mistakes but tries my best not to; who loves to laugh and not always at the most appropriate things; who loves people but has bad moods sometimes and doesn't want to be bothered; who wants to hear your story and wants to tell you mine; who tries to be reliable but sometimes will drop the ball; who offers help but is sometimes the one who needs it; and who, most importantly, wants to simply be ME.

So what should you call me? Hmm...if I'm thinking of what's real, I'd say...call me Joy, Peace, Love, Prosperity, and Hope. Call me by my name. I promise I'll answer. The rest is just...well...names...

Blessings,
MinD

Lord, Fix My Clock!

About a month ago, I decided to redo my bathroom--fresh paint, new artwork, new look for the new year. I thought it'd make sense to add a clock to the mix and remembered a clock I had sitting in my kitchen may be a good addition to the new decor.

After putting in a new battery and realigning it's arms, I thought for sure it would be a working time piece. But alas there was a reason it had been taken out of commission the first time. It didn't work. But I couldn't bring myself to take it down. For some reason, every time I thought about the clock, that old gospel song would come to mind and I'd find myself humming "He's an on time God. Yes He is."

And so today...this day where nothing seemed to go as planned, I decided to change my mindset. Instead of having an accidental reminder that God's timing is not man's/my timing, I decided to be intentional about that thing. Setting the clock to be permanently right before the midnight hour, I scribbled those haunting yet hopeful words.

Maybe you don't have a tangible broken clock, but I would venture a guess that you have a virtual one. And you are needing God to fix your clock to be aligned with His timing before you lose your mind in frustration. Like me, you are waiting on someone our something from the Lord. Today, be encouraged that He's not forgotten you. If you need to, print a copy of my picture our make one of your own; but, no matter how you do it, be reminded that He WILL be right on time.

Keep walking that water and be encouraged,
MinD

What A Difference A Day Makes

There are times when you feel as though you're struggling through and panting to see when a shift will occur. Today is not one of those days. I've spent the last few weeks getting excited about a turn of events that I didn't think would excite me quite this much. Something that I feel I worked for but never got...something that was in the back of my mind's eye is finally beginning to come to fruition. And while it doesn't matter what that thing is, what does matter is that I was reminded this week again of how God is a promise keeper. My hope is not for nothing and my focus on Jesus has been reinforced by a little boost from the Lord to remind me that He's in control.

I've written before about hearing someone use the saying "It's only 5 minutes to change". Truly, that's a concept that sometimes evades us. But I want to encourage you today as you wait and walk with me out on this water that life can shift for the good as much as it may have shifted for the bad in the past. Just know that it doesn't take very long for change to occur. One day you'll be pouting and the next you'll look up to see a glimmer of hope. And what's key is to look for the glimmer instead of focusing on the darkness. Stars are beautiful in the night sky, but if all we did was focus on the black instead of the twinkle of the white sky lights, we'd miss that magic and beauty.

I hope today you see that glimmer...

Be encouraged!
MinD

Nowhere Sea is Not for Punks!

It's been a while since I've posted and the reason was clear...I felt like I didn't have anything good to say. But today, I realized that I had allowed the enemy to silence me instead of celebrating whereever I am. So I figured I'd let you in on just where that is: just beyond the Bermuda Triangle in the Nowhere Sea.

Okay. Maybe I exaggerate a tad, but that's the feeling that I've had. What do you do when you feel like you were called to be one thing but life looks completely different. I am called to preach and I haven't been in a pulpit in months. I am called to publish books and I haven't finished the two that are "in progress" right now. I am called to travel the world evangelizing and my passport hasn't had a stamp almost two years. I believe I'm supposed to be married and I haven't had a serious relationship in over two years. I want to have kids and well...need to conquer that marriage thing first if at all possible. So yeah...here I am on the Nowhere Sea and it feel like this must be where people disappear to when they hit the Bermuda Triangle.

All I can say is, this water-walking deal is not for punks. Yes, I knew it would be hard, but I just couldn't imagine what it would feel like. It's one thing to be broke but to feel broken is whole other issue. It's one thing to be lost but to feel like a loser is a different story. It's one thing to fail but to feel like a failure takes a lot more energy. And speaking faith to yourself when those are the thoughts crossing your mind every hour is a full time job. Do you get it? If you could close your eyes and imagine yourself out in the middle of an ocean, standing on the water but not understanding how... That would be me. At times you look up and see ships passing by--friends and family on board living life--and you feel like you could just reach out and grab them but they are out of reach before you know it. That would be me. You hear God's voice but don't see Him and are trying to stay true to what He said. That would be me. You just don't know what is coming next or how life is going to work this week. That would definitely be me.

So I'm hanging in there and decided today that takes courage and that has got to be good enough...for now. Cuz I'M NO PUNK!

That is all.

MinD

Blessings Along The Way

Midway through my morning walk, I decided to incorporate a bit of "simple service" into my route. I had walked a mile out and so on the mile back decided to use the small grocery bag I'd found in my pocket to pick up trash. It was my own mini-community clean up. The bag quickly filled to it's breaking point so I had to stop. However, on my last handful of trash with my gloved hand, I noticed something to the side of the discarded beer can I was picking up--a lone dollar bill.

I was immediately encouraged. The dollar may not go far in my struggling bank account, but it wasn't about the money. Some may have even left it on the ground because it was among the dirt and muck. However, those words on the back "In God We Trust" shouted at me to recognize the blessing that I had found along the way. The Lord sent this dollar to remind me of how there are blessings in the most unexpected places along life's route. When we focus on our surroundings and circumstances instead of doing the work God sent us to do (serving others and Him), we miss those small blessings around us that are the voice of God saying "I am still here.", "I have not forgotten you." and "You can trust Me."

I think that I will frame that dollar as a constant reminder of God's sweet blessings. If I could, I'd send you a framed dollar as well but that's not possible. What I can tell you is that He's still here, He hasn't forgotten you, and He's worthy of your trust. Take your eyes off your circumstance and get busy with His business and the blessings will truly overtake you.

Be encouraged!
--MinD

Don't Take It Personal...

Back in the day, there was this song...I can't even remember who sang it...but it has been coming to mind a lot t. It went a little something like this: "Don't take it personal. Take the bitter with the sweet. Easy come. Easy go." The last couple of weeks, that's what has been on my mind.

You see, it's easy for me to get really personally attached to everything that is going on in my life right now, INCLUDING business/ministry. These days, this IS my life. This is my focus. This is my baby. I've already pouted about how this walk on the water is definitely a lonely one, but what makes it more "interesting" is that nothing I'm doing is as important to anyone else as it is to me. I've gotten frustrated at times, wanting to shake the world and say "come on it's time!!!". But, I have to remember that nothing that God has given me is necessarily going to make or break someone else's life where it may just make or break mine. When you work for someone else, in another person's 'vineyard', it's easy to be somewhat detached to the process. We are all well-meaning in our volunteer and work efforts for others but can never be as invested as the person for whom this is their life.

That is an important thing for me to remember as things don't go the way I want or disappointments come my way or even as people decide not to be involved with me or my ministry. Though it's hard not to take it personal, it's a must. No matter what we go through in our lives, we have to remember that our walk with God is a personal one. A wise friend once told me that God gives US enough faith for what He's called us to do and not other people. So we can't be mad or astounded when they don't believe or connect at the level that we would like. Even in our personal lives, we can't be mad if our husbands, wives, friends, parents don't "get it" when we want to go a specific direction. We just have to trust that God will work on them enough to not hinder our process and so that they will instead enhance that which he's given us.

So, in the mean time, I'll continue humming that song..."Don't take it personal...take the bitter with the sweet..." because I truly understand that, though bitter comes, sweet is right around the corner!

Be encouraged!
--MinD

By the way, if you remember who that song was by...comment on this and let me know or it's gonna bug me all day! :)