I find myself in a daze. It’s taken weeks now to begin to feel like I can add one and one. I have to admit that even now, I’m not sure if it’s two or four but I feel like I’m getting closer (haha). But, through this period, I’ve been reviewing with God the lesson about the value of rest in sustaining our power to work in the Kingdom.
So many of us push and push and push until there is nothing left. But even with the birthing of a baby, something follows the push. You have to have enough left over to actually raise the child. Over the last ten years or so, I feel as though I’ve been in preparation mode—bringing me to this time and this season of water walking and destiny grabbing. The effort has been big. My consistency has generally been on point. My heart has been in the right place. I’ve learned so much each and every day about God, my life, my relationship with him, church, and how to meet other’s needs. So what happens if when I push and push and push, I’m suddenly simply too tired to do much of anything else? I feel like that’s where I’ve been the last six weeks—too tired to do much of anything else.
So I have to thank God for the grace to have this moment of rejuvenation and rest. I have to thank Him that He has guarded my mind and my heart while I meditate on Him some days and meditated on nothing other days. I praise Him for allowing me the time to get myself together. But, to use a phrase often used by Oprah Winfrey, “what I know to be true” is that that time has come to and end. And I feel as though I have to move forward with a clear determination to not fall or look back. I can’t be like Lott’s wife in the Bible and turn to this virtual pillar of salt by looking back. The resting period is over and it is now time to refocus and rev up my engines.
