CHANGE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I finished with work (yes...I ended up working past my original March 31st date). Each day over the last month has in many ways been an act of looking myself in the eye and asking the hard questions: "Who are you?" and "Who do you want to be?" Throughout each day, my mind has run amuck trying to figure life out and I've had to practice restraint and not run after it. With each passing thought, I've had to silence the "what ifs" of my situation and focus on that moment. I can tell you that it's not always an easy task.

What I see before me, what I see behind me and what I see in each day are so drastically different. Yesterday was fulfilling and full of hard work and dedication--stretching and tiring to say the least. It felt like I never stopped to breathe. Tomorrow looks a lot the same. But today is still and quiet. Now that work on my job at the church is done and I have the space the think, I have been rejoicing in the chance to be refreshed and revived by the Lord. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been doing nothing. That's simply not in my personality. But I haven't been doing everything either. I haven't put pressure on myself to write. I haven't put pressure on myself to "figure out" and foresee the details of God's plan. I haven't put pressure on myself to do much of anything except to allow God to heal the burnt edges of my spirit and my drive to work.

But that can only last so long, and as I look around I know that there is so much to be done. It's been an interesting journey--one that is completely contradictory to my borderline-Type A personality that wants to go and fix and do and plan. Even if I begin to worry about money or any other concerning aspects of this faith business, I hear the Lord saying, "Stop! Rest in Me." I feel the Lord pointing to the places in the Word that says that He is my rest, He is my place of strength. It overwhelming. It's enough to have a brain freeze from the overload. And to combat that, I've been writing in my journal, seeking godly counsel and spending quiet time sifting through some of my emotions--trying not to lose sight of the fact that I have a purpose. This is not the time to freeze or faint.

As I try to walk in faith, I have to encourage myself that TODAY is a new day and another opportunity to serve God. Everyday I've had to encourage myself that today doesn't have to look the way that it always has with business and moving and always going from one project/appointment/meeting/job to the next. Instead, today can look like repairing myself. Today can look like taking a moment to just be with Him. Today can look like a moment where I just veg out in front of the T.V.

And I'm reminded almost every day of something one of my friends said to me on Facebook when I cut my hair the day of my Exit Interview from work. You see, I had gotten my hair cut drastically. It seemed like a good time to make my outside appearance reflect my inside. It was a cutting away of the unnecessary and a stripping down to the bare bones of who I am. And, in my excitement, I posted a picture of my new look on my page. What she said is, "Change looks good on you." In that act of looking in the mirror and facing myself every day, I am reminded that change looks good on me.

Life may not always feel right. Life may not always look the way it has. It may not always make sense, but let me encourage you today that change looks good on you too.

Keep walkin'!